Hi, I’m Matt Balara.I solve design problems with my head.

Consider a feeling every blogger knows: an idea appears; something important, meaningful and complicated enough that you can’t quite write it yet. So you think, instead of writing. And just as it gels in your head, you read what you wanted to write on another blog.

That other blog belongs to Andy Budd: founder of Clearleft, smart & funny guy, interview victim and totally slack blogger. I’ve been pretty slack myself of late, which is why Andy’s “My blog is dying, long live my blog” took the words right out of my mouth. His situation’s changed (lots of work and new colleagues to discuss ideas with), and a combination of too much input from too many sources, and new modes of expression like Twitter, has killed his urge to blog.

Slack Like Andy

This blog’s suffered some slack moments lately too. When Blogger’s Guilt has raised its ugly head, I’ve been telling it, “I just moved to the other side of the world. Give me a break.” Buying furniture, adjusting to working freelance, getting to know new friends, falling back in love, lying on beautiful beaches and exploring an exciting new city have been in focus – I’ve just had too many compelling reasons to spend time away from the keyboard. But now that I’ve started to settle into a routine here in Sydney, other reasons have been fueling my Blogger’s Block.

Scraps

Like most edglings, my online presence is pretty widely distributed: on this blog, my Tumblelog, Twitter, Facebook, delicious, Flickr, and quite a few more sites. It often takes a moment before I’m sure where to post what. I’ve been feeling dispersed rather than distributed. I’m rethinking how, why and where I present what, and such thinking tends to clog the content production arteries for a while.

Personal? Professional? Both?

For the last 12 years, I’ve worked for The Man – my online activities were solely personal and off the clock. As a freelancer, I now am The Man and I’m on the clock 24/7. “Matt Balara” is not only my person, it’s also my brand and my business. What I write, shoot, tweet and collect online are all me, but are also marketing and a potential client’s first impression. I’m becoming more conscious of what I’m doing online, and thinking through how combined or divided my activities should be, and what it might mean for my business. Also artery clogging.

Write About…

Part of leaving the clearly structured agency world and diving into the freelance pool is redefining what you do, or who you are professionally. Since arriving in Sydney, I’ve been lucky enough to have plenty of “whatever pays the bills” work, but haven’t had much time to think about those questions. Now that I have a little breathing room, that redefinition is rolling around in my head, but until it’s a bit further along it’s also hard to answer the “what should I write about?” question.

What Next?

My summary’s similar to Andy’s: I’ve got some questions I still haven’t answered. I’m leaning towards a single cohesive presentation on this site, whether it be life-streaming or clearly divided sections (blog, portfolio, photos, etc.), with all the other sources relegated to a clear data storage role. But the big questions above are the more important and difficult ones, and until I’ve got some answers there the changes will wait.

Considering the distributed (or dispersed) nature of our digital lives, I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s been going through these thoughts. What’s your feeling about personal vs. professional presentation? How has your online persona, content and personal brand evolved in the last few years? How separate or cohesive are you in the web? Do tell.

What do you think? Leave a comment…

Today was my last day of over 7 years as an art director at Sinnerschrader.

As I’ve mentioned before, one of my main motivations was a unshakeable desire to return to Australia after over 10 years. I’ll be stepping off the plane in Sydney on October 3rd.

But more than that, I’ve been motivated by something I think of as “growing up.”

Working for a big company is in so many ways so very easy. Someone else decides what you’ll do. Someone else tells you how to do it and when. And someone else shoulders the stress and worry if and when things go wrong. No matter what you do, as long as you’re at work every day, do your best to be useful, and don’t do something completely stupid, you get your paycheck. And no matter how excellent your work is, every month’s paycheck looks the same. This state is akin to childhood—your parents shield you from most of life’s worries and feed you regularly.

Many people work this way all their lives, but it’s been getting under my skin for a year or two. It’s pretty cosy to have so little worry, so it took that long for the itch to outweigh the comfort.

Growing up is about deciding things for yourself. Saying “yes” to risks, and living with the triumphs and disasters of your own decisions. Earning more when you work harder and less when you slack off. Being able to run with exciting new ideas, and reject the duds. Knowing that there’s no one else to blame, no matter how good or bad things are.

I believe living and working this way is what it is to truly be alive. I certainly hope I’m right, since I am, as of today, a freelance designer.

It feels pretty good so far.

What do you think? Leave a comment…

This afternoon I’m jumping on a train to perhaps the loveliest European city I know: Copenhagen. Tomorrow the tenth reboot conference, and a hell of a lot of exciting changes in my life start.

After over seven years as an Art Director at Sinnerschrader, I quit my job. As of today it’s official, and as of the first of September I will be unemployed a freelancer designer.

Most of my colleagues jumped to a number of conclusions once they heard: I don’t like my new boss, I don’t like the company’s vision, I don’t like Matthias Schrader, I don’t like whatever.

Forget it. Chris, my new boss (Walli!), is a guy I very sincerely like and that the company’s needed for ages. I helped develop the vision, and as a direction for Sinnerschrader I believe in it and am proud of my part in it. Mattes is the German entrepreneur that I most like, respect and admire. I’ve learned bunches from him and will miss him. My colleagues are a pile of intelligent, interesting and funny folks that I’ll also miss. So why did I quit?

There are a few reasons, here in order of importance:

Homesickness Can be Cured

I miss Australia and Australians, simple as that. For the ten years I’ve been in Germany, all of my friends have heard the sentence, “Next year I’m moving back to Australia,” so many times that they’ve stopped believing me. I’ve stopped believing myself. Laziness, comfort and continual “one day” thinking kept it a theory, but I’m sick of hearing myself say it without doing it, so now I am.
I’m moving to Sydney.

Move to Grow

I was born in the U.S., moved to Australia at 9, moved back at 16, back to Australia again at 23, picked up double citizenship, and after bumming around the world for many months, I landed in Germany at 28. I’ve never stayed anywhere as long as Germany. I’ve never worked anywhere as long as Sinnerschrader. More and more intensely in the last two years, I’ve been getting sick of my comfortable, sedentary life. I miss challenges, travel, insecurity, learning, and all the other things that come with going somewhere and getting used to everything again. These things bring more growth than anything else I know, and it’s time to grow again.
I’m looking for some challenging uncertainties.

Mid-Life Cliché?

Sure, I’m 38. It’s almost officially time for a mid-life crisis isn’t it? Well, I haven’t bought a sportscar I can’t afford, I haven’t snagged an athletic, 19 year old, blonde girlfriend, and I haven’t renovated my wardrobe to try and look half my age either. I’ve quit my job, and will be going solo and moving to the other side of the world.
Mid-life crisis of the hyperconnected? You tell me.

What Now?

I’m preparing the countless things (I’m sure I’ll forget something) that are necessary to leave a country after ten years. My last day at work will be towards the end of August. I’m spending as much time as I can with friends I’ll probably not see for a long time. On the first of October I’ll be flying to Sydney and setting up a new home base there.

I’m Free!

As of the first of September I’ll be working as a freelancer, consulting and designing interfaces, primarily for the web. If you’re looking for someone who can analyse and understand your online problems, and develop interface concepts and visual designs to solve them, get in touch. Don’t let my new location in Sydney deter you. I’m fluent in English and German, am eager to travel by working anywhere, and believe in working through all the tools I use online. Say “hi” at hello AT mattbalara DOT com.

I also gave my first talk at the next08 conference a few weeks ago. To be honest it was terrifying, but also invigorating and addictive. Judging by the feedback, I believe I did a pretty good job, too. Have a look at the video. I’m working on new talks and looking for places to present them.

If any of this is interesting for you, now or in the future, get connected on LinkedIn or Xing, follow me on Twitter, and subscribe to this blog’s feed.

The blog here will also be warming up, with more regular posts, a new look and a stronger focus on design. I’ve often blogged about social media, and that’ll be shifting over to /message, where Stowe Boyd generously invited me to blog with him. My first post went online last week.

Although all of the changes are coming extremely hard and fast, and sometimes it makes me wobbly, I’m terribly excited and am more than anything else looking forward to it all. For the first time in a long time, I’ve got a solid, persistent feeling that the future rocks.

What do you think? Leave a comment…